Client Meetings: No girls in the boys locker room

Face it, you are not a good golfer. If you are, kudos for you and I am jealous. For the rest of us, this absent athletic ability has unfortunately set us back in the world of corporate entertainment options. 

As it it is critical to promote yourself both internally with the big boss as well as with existing or potential clients, corporate entertainment must be done right.  Alas, what are some options for us She-Office-Ninjas who have a mean slice when we hit the links? Solution: Distinguish yourself by being more creative than your male office counterparts and try one of the following:  

(Photo: New NYC restaurant Casa Lever from cms.nycgo.com)

(Photo: ondesk.co.uk) 

(Photo 1: BG at Bergdorf Goodman from coterie.comli.com; Photo 2: Cornelia Day Spa from Vanityfair.com); Photo 3: Fashion Week at Bryant Park from fashion-stylist.net)
(Photo: The new Yankee Stadium from top things to do.com)

(Photo: Wine from the Wolffer Estates in the Hamptons from store.nexternal.com) 

(Photo: bp.blogspot)

(Photo: Wholefoodsmarket.com) 

(Photo: philadelphiamarathon.com)

Butter up the Boss

The RSP came across this GREAT! Article in SmartMoney that we felt was a must to share with our RSP readers: 10 ways to make your boss Love You by Anne Kadet. 

The following are some key tips that could make your life at work my easier:  

#1: Put in the Hours when it Counts

• Don’t put in hours only for the sake of face-time—employees who brag about long hours appear self-serving.

• Don’t apologize for having a personal life—if you get caught on ESPN.com or Facebook during the day don’t switch over to a spreadsheet in front of your boss.  It’s annoying.

#2: Empathize

• In a non-brown noser way, put yourself in your boss’s shoes and be confident enough to THOUGHTFULLY ask about the boss’s well being (concerns, priorities, etc.)…note: bosses are stressed out and worried about things at work just like we are.

#3: Defuse a Bad Situation

• Studies show that bosses within the first 5 days of meeting employees separate them into an “in group” and an “out group.”

• If you sense that you are in the bad group, defuse these situations by taking the initiative to call a meeting with your boss.

• Go into the meeting armed with job objectives that you haven’t met and pinpointing reasons for failure and suggesting better approaches for going forward.

#4: Be a Conduit

• Help inform your boss when the general office is confused or misinformed.

• By all means, avoid sounding like a snitch and or you are trashing individual colleagues.

#5: Ask for Help

• It shows humility and a desire to learn and is a subtle form of flattery.

#6: Connect the Boss's Way 

• Deliver information in the preferred medium of the boss...if he is VoiceMail guy, don't email him. Leave him a VoiceMail. 

• Keep up the constant communication to ensure that the boss agrees with your agenda.

#7: Show Initiative

• Be proactive. This includes but is not limited to asking for more work. You can ask for a higher-level assignment or find a creative way to solve a problem.

#8: Be Positive

• Don't be a Debbie Downer.  Bosses prefer to be around employees who are enthusiastic and optimistic. 

• Studies show that optimistic employees outperform pessimists in the work place. 

#9: Make Like Mini-Me

• Dress in the spirit of your supervisor. Dressing similar to your boss reaffirms that you support his or her choices.  This instills feelings of comfort and trust with your boss. 

• By all means, do this subtly. Don't be a clone and don't ever show up dressed more casual than your boss. 

#10: Get Your Face Time

• Studies from Harvard and Stanford researchers show that in a workplace environment, bosses tend to chose likability over competence.  As such, put in the time to socialize with your boss. 

• Follow the boss's lead on how and when he or she likes to socialize.

Hierarchy in the Office Sandbox

Wasn’t it so much easier when girls could just play house and joyfully prance around with each other wearing our grosgrain bows and smock dresses? Now that we have entered the office sandbox, apparently us females can no longer play nice when it comes to hierarchy.  According to a recent survey by Lifetime Women's Pulse, woman across all ages would rather work for a man than a woman.

Who’s to blame? In the traditionally male dominated world of finance, does the lower-level female feel the novelty of being a woman is dismissed when another female manages her? Is she resentful at the possibility that she may one day turn into her power-hoarding bitch of a boss?  Or maybe, just maybe, does the female boss feel threatened by having a younger, more wrinkle-free version of herself in her office domain?

In reality, most likely both parties succumb to the insecurities that being a woman in the workplace presents and project them on the other.  Ah yes, but society and the expectations it sets for female managers does deserve its due credit.  By nature women are supposed to be sensitive, compassionate and emotional; however, this is in direct contrast to the logical and authoritative qualities expected of an office manager, a role formed by the precedent of males.  Thanks.

Re-tweaking society’s expectations is certainly a large feat. Alas, in the mean time.  Be nice.  To female lower-level employees: cut your female boss a break and remember how hard playing a dual role must be.  To female bosses: remember that you are unfortunately expected to embody conflicting qualities and that nixing the sensitive, emotional side is not in the spirit of championing yourself as a female.    

To both: think back to the times when we didn’t care who got to wear the queen’s crown and who got wear the princess’s tiara and just chill-axe. 

Gossip Girl

Hey all you office goers, Gossip Girl here.  We all know that I exist outside the confines of Tween text messages and IMs.  Most likely, my gossip army is thriving in your very office as we speak. Ever heard of  “water cooler  talk” or “ the sidebar chat”? That’s right. We are talking about you.  And not in a good way.

Gossip is alive and well in all of our offices and we are often we are asked to participate. The following are some tips from the RSP to avoid the baggage that comes with gossip: 

Gossip with the Boss: If your office superior wants to gossip in your ear, let him or her.  Nix the self-righteous “I don’t want to gossip” card as that will not go over well with your superior

Vague and Engaged: If you must participate in gossip, do so in a discrete way. Start championing terms like “that’s interesting,” “I didn’t know that” and avoid actually contributing to the gossip

Buck Stops Here: Don’t repeat gossip.  It could very easily be pinned to you rather than the true originator   

Email is not a good place to talk bad about people:  Never ever gossip over email. Even if it is just forwarding what someone else in your office

Mean Girls

Girls are mean.  They even made a movie about it.  There is most likely a Regina George in us all who rears her ugly head only when confronted with another female peer. Girl Wars: Compared to men we fight sneakier, dirtier, and to the point where time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds.

Unfortunately this behavior exists outside the confines of high school walls. Welcome to the office sandbox.  Studies show that of the “bully population” at work, 40% are women and pick on their fellow female employees 70% of the time.  We have seen it time and time again─ “Accidentally” forwarding a female peer’s email to the wrong eyes, purposely excluding a female peer from a meeting, embarrassing a female peer in front of office colleagues for not being able to work this weekend because she is visiting her boyfriend (*Gasp)…..

So how can we cope? 

• Stay Confident: Lose your cool and risk letting Regina compromise your career and office reputation. 
• Watch the Body Language: Nix the eye rolling, heavy sighing, and other signs of frustration. It’s ugly and you are trying to take the high road here.
• Know Your Setting: Don’t ever retaliate over email (forwarding) or in front of senior management.
• Answer with a Question: It's quick, easy and tosses the ball back into their court.
• Last Resort: Fight back with a tasteful amount of wit and poise.   

All in all, the days of the male dominated financial world are slowly eroding and female office colleagues are everywhere.  Let’s be nice, professional, and leave it up to Lindsey Lo to really battle with our dear friend Regina George.